Am I spoiled as a mother?

Spoiled Children in the South!

I wish I had a quarter for every time I hear a black woman call a child spoiled.

I was called spoiled.  Dr. Spock gave women a reason to call children spoiled in the old days.  I thought that was dead and gone.

How slavery has made us blind to the unity of a common purpose in the rearing of our children!  We spoiled many children as Nannys and Mammys and now we are reorienting our dominion to include our own children.  Can we teach our children to think of themselves as prized and precious as we have Massa’s?

I love the way we look at our children as needing to be humbled.  “She thinks too highly of herself.” “He needs to be knocked down a few pegs.”  Is that so?

I dare say, I think they need to be reminded that they are made in the image of God!  I think they need to be reminded that many of the physical parts of their bodies that they can’t get under control might be caused by ecological factors and not their gluttony.  You are beautiful and you are smart.  You can achieve and work for God’s glory.  You don’t have to follow the pack.  You can carve out your own path to follow.  You are a creator and a thinker and an amazing victor in your own spheres of activity.  You can go anywhere and do anything.

What would happen to us, if we reared our younguns to believe that?  What would our children do with a great self esteem?  What would God say about us in That Day if we gave them that heritage?

My head still hurts from coming against the mentality of the south from New York.  People still refer to people as them and us?  Heads are still bowed with the shame of having darker skin and nappy hair.  The way that we think about ourselves is laid bare so that we can deal with it and address it in our mothering and grandmothering.

God made me black!  God gave me this hair and I love God and what He made me.  My personhood is not my sin.  My mother loves me more than I know.  She had to take care of those children because she was keeping me alive.  She had to teach me to humble myself because she didn’t want to see me lynched.  It is a new day! 

Help me love myself, Mammy!  I want the mammy that raised the earlier generations of Americans to Mammy me!  I love her!  I love what she means to our country and to our heritage as Americans!