Acting as Mother to my children
Investing myself into my children’s lives in the earlier times was mothering. They were with me. They were learning and doing and growing with me. Now it is appearances as mother. I dress myself up and study my responses and act as mother to my children. I am no longer, really their mother. I am part of a team of acting mothers. Maybe, I am the most influential of the mothers, maybe the lioness is more influential, maybe the prophetess and maybe the teacher, but, I am one of the mothers in their lives. I felt a little sense of some restoration of some of the influence today, that was stolen and snatched from me. I looked in my son’s eyes and performed, inadvertently Puff! I didn’t mean to perform it, I just meant for him to hear it. It was as powerful as Quiet Thing! I wasn’t expecting that response, but it was more exciting than a standing ovation. I was singing into his soul, as it were. The moment came and the tears started streaming down his face. What is wrong my son? Perhaps he thought the little boy had died. I really didn’t have the time to delve into what he was seeing while I was singing Puff. I remember in Kindergarten saying why are they making us sing this sad, sad song? This isn’t fun at all. I remember picturing Puff going into his cave with his ceiling wax and pasting up the walls and ceilings and not coming back out. I remember saying, I would go and play with Puff, even if I was grown up. I went back to the cave with my Ethan. The son of my emotions. The son born of the last of my serotonin. Tears and tears for Jackie Paper and Puff, whose love story was over, all too soon. We cried together this morning. We learned the lesson to enjoy the season where we are, perhaps it is a restoration of my maternal influences. Perhaps it is just a spark of past influences that were stolen from under me. God knows.
“Puff the Magic Dragon, ceased his fearless roar” and tears hit the ground. Hugs and kisses couldn’t comfort him at that thought. What will he do without his roar, mommy? Why didn’t Jackie Paper come back mommy? I don’t know, my son there are lessons that we will share about this, until we die, but God Bless Pete Seager, who took us to the crux of the matter this morning. Life has been given us to richly enjoy. And the children of the aged people deserve the same love as the children of the youth. God seems to bless and emphasize what we say more, now that we have less time to speak into their souls.
Making these boys see oneanother as teammates and not opponents is the goal of the season. A brother, is born for adversity. Enoch asked for one, Ethan asked for one and now there are three. My three sons. Crying and dancing in the morning, with Puff the Magic Dragon. I could not ask for more.
No comments:
Post a Comment