Thank you Son, for the enlightenment.

I said, Ethan, I had an idea for a horror story, spawned by your sad words to me, yesterday. This was our breakfast conversation. I told him the story of the handcuffs on me for my lack in mothering skills. How they led me into a lone room with other unfit mothers. He said, "that was the devil, himself mother. Why didn't you recognize him? I would have gotten out of that dream right away."

I was not in a dream, I told him. I was writing the screen play. He said, "don't write that one, mother, it is too unreal.
Didn't you watch Carmen's scene of how the devil is overcome, already?" I know that I am cleansed by the blood of Jesus, but I thought that this would be a good motivation for me to walk circumspectly and the handcuffs were burning in my mind.

I wouldn't write anymore of that story from the devil, was my son's instruction to me. I will receive that, I said. Would to God, that I could be obedient.

Seventh Grade!

We delightedly are in the midst of week 2 of 7th grade. I was dreaming about plotting points, last night, corresponding with the homework that put me to sleep. Your bus schedule is changed and we should have a better time getting to the bus, most mornings now. Now if we can get a saxophone, we will be set. C'est La Vie!

My Dad's Day

Indiana Squirrel, found his way...

into the school, where young Ethan was. He wasn't afraid of the large building and he knew that Ethan would help him clear his name and reputation and the reputation of all squirrels.
What would be the difficulty for people, is not so hard for a squirrel. He scurried into the building in the squirrel fashion. He waited for a portly gentleman to open the doors and he crept in, nearly under the man's heels. The man had no ability to see his heels. This, Indiana took to the greatest advantage. He felt the breeze of the man's shoe, hitting the floor, as he ran by. Whew, that was close. He certanly would not survive the blow had the foot come down on his head. Squirrels are careful about such things, but this was still too close.

It was a tender meeting between boy and squirrel, when the two caught eachother's eye in the hall. I don't know what made Ethan look so low to the ground. None of the other children noticed him at all. Having a friend who is a squirrel must make you pan from a lower eye level. Anyway, he saw him, the bell rang and the children went into their classes. All except young Ethan, who lingered in the hallway to greet his unexpected visitor. Yo, Ind, what are you doing here? They popped five and did their handshake that they had developed. Ethan had grown quite a bit over the summer and had to kneel instead of squat to be eye level with his friend. Good to see you, what are you doing here.

I need an education, I need money and in this world you need an education to make money, so I've come to see if you can help me get into school.
Wow, Ind, I never, well, huh, I never thought a, well uh, a squirrel doesn't need money or an education, does it? I mean do you? Anyway, education is complicated in this world, I mean, this is not as easy as you might think, you see, Ind. This is public school, they don't just let any wild animal in the doors. There has to be a standard. My parents pay taxes and I am registered here and everything. I wouldn't even know where to begin, getting you registered for school, much less the health and other requirements for being a student.

Just then, the janitor and a teacher came around the corner and saw Ethan talking to Indiana. Ms. Wiffins, put her hand over her mouth in shock and Mr. Carps grabbed Indiana by the scruff of the neck. Woooo? Wait a minute? They both begged for a minute to plead their case.

This is my friend Indy and he, well uh, well uh,...he wants an education so he can make money and everything. I am not sure why, but I know that he is a good squirrel and a good friend and well uh, I want to help him, you see.

Ms. Wiffins said, I never heard of anything so ridiculous in all my life. A squirrel wanting an education, this is outlandish, this is unheard of. Did he tell you why he needs an education and money. He didn't was Ethan's answer, He was just about to get to that. I was explaining that it is not automatic for some squirrel to just walk off the street and get into school, well there is the tax burden and the registration and everything, right?

Ms. Wiffins thought for a good long minute. Mr. Carp was still holding Ind, by the scruff of the neck. All of a sudden, Ms. Wiffin's face changed. She softened and smiled. She said, we are public servants and if a squirrel wants an education in America, by gumption, it is a free country and he shall have it. We should be able to accomodate our local wildlife, here and there, when they have a need. It shouldn't be difficult. You take him home with you and I will research the topic abit and see if I can't find some precidence to take to the School board. The bell rang. Ms Wiffins requested that Ethan go to class and that the squirrel leave the premises. There are insurance concerns you know.
Ethan told Indy to meet him at the house and thanked Ms. Wiffins for understanding and the hallway cleared of the 4 loiterers and was quiet.

I miss my daddy, but I see him in the little things.

The other day, I saw a leaf spinning in the tree, like mad. It was being blown in circles and not coming off of the tree. I thought of my dad. My dad seemed to say, somebody is spinning their wheels in your family. Get a grip on them. My tires were bald and I knew that my dad was pointing me to that. But, I was shocked to find out that my, usually attentive Ethy fellow, was slipping through the cracks of maternal attention. That is not hard to have happen in a big family like ours.
Okay, Dad, you are such a nag. I said back to him. I will open my eyes and look around and see who is spinning. Sure enough, the Ethy boy was totally behind in all of his subjects.
It wasn't just the writing assignments, which are usually the Walker distinctive, that got him down. It was everything.
All of my children come to me, in some point and their eyes are as open as they can be and they say, Mom, I don't know what I am going to do. I always see my dad, in them or me, when this happens, because of our many scholastic struggles. I remember the fear in my heart of death or worse, failing. I remember his unflinching command of me and the situations. I will accept nothing less. Nothing. Don't be angry, I say to myself and I want to run from that situation as far as I can. But, I pick up my heart from the ground of my emotions and remind myself that I am on this side of the whip, now. One or more stories of past days should apply and we will get past this point.
I love how people, who were not pushed can put pressure on people to perform above their ability. I will put just a little pressure and the rest is on you.
Now that Dad is in eternity, the pressure he places is just the right amount. A leaf spinning in the tree is enough for me to know that he is concerned, still.

New Years Prayers-- Jeremiah 33:3